You (God) have filled me with joy, and happiness has risen in my heart, great delight and unrivaled joy, even more than when bread abounds and wine flows freely.
I spent 3 glorious years in an environment where it was relatively easy to stay in community, feel connected, be accountable, get encouraged, loved upon, fed, pampered, cheered on, and be reminded to stay positive and happy.
You could say it was a season where bread abounded and wine flowed freely.
Then I left.
I love God.
He took me from the place I most wanted to be at that time, to the place I least wanted to go to; the place I in many ways feared the most. I didn’t want to go back there, but still felt compelled to do so.
And, what often happens as you go back somewhere is that you’ll find that you’ve conquered what used to terrify and intimidate you.
When God leads you back to something from the past, it’s not to hurt or punish you, but in order to give you victory over it, and so that you can become fully healed.
The place I came back to is a place where one definitely have to be more intentional about getting basic spiritual and emotional needs met. Opportunities for accountability and encouragement aren’t chasing you down every 10 minutes.
This isn’t a place where you can simply lean back, enjoy the ride and think that you’re doing good.
It’s more like this:
You look at the external circumstances and know that this must be God giving you that joy, peace, wisdom, encouragement, courage, strength, etc, cause it’s certainly no one else around to do it, and the situation seldom explains it either.
And knowing this makes the joy and peace even more exciting and overwhelming!
No, I’m not saying there hasn’t been any external source of joy and peace or anyone encouraging me. Oh no.
But there’s certainly been more of the
“This must be God making me so glad, cause what else would right now!?!?” moments,
– and THAT makes me even more happy!
I’ve had so many experiences this year; I would say more than ever before, where the joy feels unbearable, in a good way. It’s almost like a lightheadedness, an energy boost, a deep peace filled with vibrant life, like you’re about to burst.
There’s a joy and peace that truly surpasses everything coming their way. And I believe that this is just the beginning.
And because of this; the joy of the Lord, I would rather be “alone” and have Him, than be surrounded by great people and circumstances where I still didn’t know His joy and peace the way I do now.
Thank You, God, for taking me to a place where Your love, joy, peace and light speaks even louder, where I cannot for a second doubt the source of my joy. Thank You for filling me with unrivaled joy!
Thank You for Your joy which is available to anyone who wants it!