The Importance of a Brother

From a single woman’s perspective:

A wise friend once noted how, while only one man will end up as your husband in life (usually), there are hundreds, if not more, amazing and godly single men you will meet out there who will not be your husband.

What, then, are they to you? Just random people passing by?

I think not. Although only one man ends up being “the right one”*, does not mean that every other man you meet is “wrong”.

They aren’t “wrong”; they are right for you, just in another way. They have the potential to play another mighty important role in your life: Being your brother.

When you’re introduced to a man, what goes through your mind at first?

“Could he be..?”

“I hope he likes me..”

Or:

“He’s not my type”

“He’s not spiritual enough”

“He’s taken..”

“He’s too young/old”

Then what? If he doesn’t pass the “potential husband test”, will he be written off as irrelevant to you?

There’s nothing wrong with meeting someone and at some point realizing that it’s not the two of you.

Just watch out.

While only one man gets to be your husband, many men can be brothers in your life. Don’t let that opportunity go!

Why am I talking about this?

Through men, women have an opportunity to experience brotherly love. To be protected. Supported. Affirmed. Pursued in a different way. You get to learn more about guys; how they think, feel and act. You get to learn how to be treated right. Loved well. You get more prepared for marriage. And of course, you as a sister can likewise be a huge blessing to your brother(s).

So many people have a love tank on a constant low. I believe God is the ultimate source of love for any individual, but we are also created to be loved by other people. We all need to be loved.

When the need for affection from others is not met in a healthy way, it can turn ugly. A woman who is not affirmed by caring men in her life (fathers, brothers), is more prone to go seek “love” wherever she can get it. She might give herself away in order to be “loved”, because she’s desperate. She might settle for less, because she doesn’t know she can have more..

Men, when we don’t have brothers around to show us what real men are like, and how women should be treated, we are likely to get hurt, both emotionally, physically and spiritually.

We need brothers who will give us advice, and protect us if and when a situation arises. We need brothers who have no problem telling us that

“you are beautiful today”,

or,

“I don’t trust that guy”.

We need you around to tell us who we are and how much we are worth. By doing this you’ve already protected us from much grief. 

Brothers, you are more important than you think. You can do so much to empower and love the sisters around you.

Are you willing to lay your life down (in a sense) for someone who will not even be your wife??

Think of it this way: you’re protecting the bride until the bridegroom has arrived. What an honor!

And.. wouldn’t you as a future husband want for your bride to be to have loving brothers around her until she gets wed?

I’m not writing this to put any pressure (well, maybe a little bit..) on anyone.

I’m saying this more to show how important you men are in our lives. You don’t have to marry us to have a huge impact on our lives! (and I haven’t even talked about fathers in here..)

Even if you’re a young man and do not plan to “find someone” for several years yet, or you just don’t “feel it” yet, you can still love a lot of women!

 

I haven’t focused on being a sister here. I am positive that it is important for men to have sisters in their lives, but I won’t talk about that right now.

Also, I know that it can be hard for men sometimes to act brotherly towards women, because women sometimes have a tendency to misinterpret their BROTHERLY love and think they mean more than they really do. How many times do you want to deal with that?!?

I can understand men who stop complimenting on women because it only gave them (and the woman as well) trouble. But still, I think the very antedote to this is to step out, keep stepping out, and choose to be a brother. The more brothers we have, the more we will understand it when a brother comes along. The more we will know that there can be affection that is just that. No second agenda. As we are surrounded more and more by brotherly love, we’ll be more fulfilled, more empowered. Our love tank will already be filled, and we’ll be able to wait, while enjoying life so much more until it’s actually time to get married.

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Transition Time (Update)

This is my first post here since around mid-April. 

Any good excuses? I think not. But the one I will use for now is that I’ve been in transition (and still am). 

For the past three (almost) years, I’ve lived in California. It’s been beyond my wildest dreams. I will never be the same from it. What I’ve experienced during this time has forever transformed how I see God, myself, others, and the world. I’ve got to do things I never thought I’d get to do. I’ve been given friends for life. It’s been fun, amazing, great, sometimes challenging, risky, sweet, heart-wrecking, life-transforming, and the list goes on. 

All in all, I loved it. 

And then, it was time to leave..

This past month has been amazing in so many ways. Yet, it’s also been one of me processing a lot, getting emotionally and spiritually ready for the move. There’s been a lot of goodbyes, to people and places. 

I know it’s right. It’s time to go. And I have peace. 

I’m excited about the new season; moving into unchartered territories. 

I’m so grateful for what has been so far. Yet, I’m believing for even greater things to happen in this next season! 

Transitioning from glory to glory 🙂 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Connection Time

I live with some truly amazing women of God who I know will all go out and change the world.

Truthfully, I believe they already are.

 

Even though we all have busy lives, we still see each other a lot. Hey, we live together!

Daily we interact, from sharing meals, having deep conversations, watching a movie, praying together, encouraging each other, laughing our heads off (all the time), doing chores, homework, having people over, and the list goes on.

To top it off – we see each other in school too.

Still, my room mate Laura, and I recently felt the need to at some point set up a coffee date just for the two of us.

Somehow, we’re still not getting our relational needs met as much as we desire. Honestly, I found it strange that we still had this need, when things are as perfect as they are. Then I read a friend’s blog post, and it all made more sense.

My friend is married, and even though she and her husband see each other all the time, they still got to a point where they realized their need to be intentional and have “date time” with each other in order to be fully connected.*

An example she used was how God is always with us and we with Him; still we need to set aside “alone time” with Him. It’s essential to our relationship; our connection.

So me and my room mate are going out on a coffee date this weekend. You know it’s a good community you’re in when you want to get away – to spend more time together!

Personally, I believe God is preparing us for marriage.

..

I’m excited.

For my coffee date or for marriage, you may ask?

Yes.

* http://commonunityblog.com/author/mikaelam9/